The Worst Lies People Tell Themselves (The Seeds of Hate)

  I realized some time ago when I was the target of bullying and being picked on in grade school that people not only pick on people weaker than themselves; but people that are different.  It’s not always so much that the person is different from them, but the fact that the person is symbolic of the fact that all people are different in some way.  As often as society, especially western society loves to cheer that being different is a joyful thing; often in the effort to cover the fact that discrimination and hate lead to tragic and traumatic events.  The whole truth is that any difference makes people uncomfortable.  Step into a crowded room and watch the people; a person rolls in using a wheelchair.  Say this person looks healthy and able bodied otherwise, this person is a perfect stranger to this room full of other total strangers.  People will stop talking at first.  People do generally stop to look when someone comes in which is normal.  The sound of the door opening causes this, because the mind alerts them to be aware for personal security as well as the curiosity of a new person or the possibility that this person maybe an acquaintance that one wants to acknowledge or avoid for whatever reason.  Slowly people will begin talking again, but people will glance over in pity, sympathy, or nosiness.  Now consider that this person isn’t so able bodies; they are bent; their limbs are deformed, and they have uncontrollable spasms.  The silence will last longer amongst some people and more of the people talking will turn the subject to the appearance of this person.  You will hear words of sympathy, compassion, pity, insensitivity, and outright disgust.  Some people will already have friends, loved ones, acquaintances in that same state so there will be understanding and compassion.  Some will feel relief that they are not similarly afflicted.  Some will be disgusted because they do not understand the illness or disorder or because it troubles them that it is a fact of life that we cannot control as mere humans.  Some will boldly or quietly tell off-color jokes.

            Now take this same group and see what happens when a person walks in that has spiked purple hair, facial piercings, and goth style clothing.  This person is behaving very calmly and does not appear to be aggressive or trying to get attention aside from having an appearance that is considered socially deviant.  There will likely be more off color jokes because there is not as high a social obligation to be politically correct towards this type of person.  This person isn’t likely to get as much sympathy or pity.  Some will out-rightly ignore them because they figure this person has only adopted this look to get attention.  This fashion and body medication choice will put thoughts of drug use and illegal activity in some people’s minds and they will try to move further away from the person.

            My point in all this is that with these people in the room others begin to feel more comfortable because in comparison they look more “normal”, but somewhere in their mind there is distaste for the odd-ball, because they upset the homogenous blend of individuals.  These people can cause the situation to become uncomfortable because now the most insensitive and openly bigoted people now have a target.  The more vocal those people become the more likely it will be someone will have to stand up and confront them, especially if they confront the dissimilar individual.  The bigot feels validated in their behavior, because they know that in the group there has to be others openly or secretly agree and feel the same way.  What stops many people from openly bashing or harassing someone that is different is as times goes by in our human history, tolerance and political correctness has become touted as a sign of sophistication and intellect.  Even more if one is to speak of an individual or group in demeaning or stereotypical ways they have to use certain terms or phrases so it sounds less overtly ignorant and hateful. 

            Watch any new story or political debate when people say things such government assistance, alternative lifestyle, dysfunctional family.  After these words are said note that words like high crime rate, low performing students, and substance abuse follow it.  I’m not saying that there isn’t a correlation with these situations, but that often people skip over how these things came to be tied together and that not only these groups or individuals suffer these problems.  I’ll be frank; I’m an African American and anytime I’m in a group of other African Americans and someone mentions a new story about a mass murdering gun man, a child abuser, or a mother killing her children the first question is what race what the offender.  If the answer is any other any other than African American there is a sigh of relief followed by the “Cause you know we don’t do that” statement, followed by “That’s a shame”.  I’m sure we all know why this is the response.  If you don’t I can tell you, it’s been because throughout American history African Americans have been pegged as uncivilized barbarians that steal, lie, cheat, fight, rape, and won’t do an ounce of work unless beaten.  So whenever some other group can be found guilty of these things it confirms to African Americans that no matter what other groups do we are less likely to perform acts of that level of barbarity.

            I think the worst thing is that people will lie to themselves and others about their need to feel a part of the group; a need to be superior to others; and that illness, disability, and voluntary overt acts of self expression make them uncomfortable.  While they lie they transfer their fears and personal insecurities onto people that are less insecure.