Acquiring music from Youtube/Organizing your music

Step 1: Pick a Song you like.

Step 2: Go to YouTube and see if the song is available.

Step 3: Decide which version of the song is by the artist you want and does it sound clear.

Step 4: Click on your best option, highlight the URL, and then copy it.

Step 5: Paste the URL into the input box on http://www.youtube-mp3.org/.

Step 6: Click the CONVERT button.

Step 7: When you see Video successfully converted to mp3, click the DOWNLOAD link.

Step 8: If you are using Google Chrome browser, which I am the download will show up at the bottom of the screen.

Step 9: Right click on the down arrow and choose SHOW IN FOLDER.

Step 10: Locate the file in your Download folder.

Step 11: Highlight the file and right click on it.

Step 12: Click on PROPERTIES.

Step 13: Click on the DETAILS tap.

Step 14: You can highlight the Song Title and  Artist, and then COPY and PASTE them into the correct boxes.  These may not always show up so you might need to type them in manually.

Step 15: Click OK when you have all the information you want to edit. 

Step 16: Highlight the file and then click on CUT.

Step 17: Paste the file into the folder that you keep your music in. 

Step 18: Double-click on the file so that it begins to play in Itunes. 

Step 19: Go to the Store tab on the menu bar.

Step 20: Click UPDATE ITUNES MATCH.  

Now All the information should show up and finding your songs on your hard drive and ITunes should be way easier.

If you have a lot of music like I do it will take time to go back and change the details on the files.  It’s a rainy day project.  

The Worst Lies People Tell Themselves (The Seeds of Hate)

  I realized some time ago when I was the target of bullying and being picked on in grade school that people not only pick on people weaker than themselves; but people that are different.  It’s not always so much that the person is different from them, but the fact that the person is symbolic of the fact that all people are different in some way.  As often as society, especially western society loves to cheer that being different is a joyful thing; often in the effort to cover the fact that discrimination and hate lead to tragic and traumatic events.  The whole truth is that any difference makes people uncomfortable.  Step into a crowded room and watch the people; a person rolls in using a wheelchair.  Say this person looks healthy and able bodied otherwise, this person is a perfect stranger to this room full of other total strangers.  People will stop talking at first.  People do generally stop to look when someone comes in which is normal.  The sound of the door opening causes this, because the mind alerts them to be aware for personal security as well as the curiosity of a new person or the possibility that this person maybe an acquaintance that one wants to acknowledge or avoid for whatever reason.  Slowly people will begin talking again, but people will glance over in pity, sympathy, or nosiness.  Now consider that this person isn’t so able bodies; they are bent; their limbs are deformed, and they have uncontrollable spasms.  The silence will last longer amongst some people and more of the people talking will turn the subject to the appearance of this person.  You will hear words of sympathy, compassion, pity, insensitivity, and outright disgust.  Some people will already have friends, loved ones, acquaintances in that same state so there will be understanding and compassion.  Some will feel relief that they are not similarly afflicted.  Some will be disgusted because they do not understand the illness or disorder or because it troubles them that it is a fact of life that we cannot control as mere humans.  Some will boldly or quietly tell off-color jokes.

            Now take this same group and see what happens when a person walks in that has spiked purple hair, facial piercings, and goth style clothing.  This person is behaving very calmly and does not appear to be aggressive or trying to get attention aside from having an appearance that is considered socially deviant.  There will likely be more off color jokes because there is not as high a social obligation to be politically correct towards this type of person.  This person isn’t likely to get as much sympathy or pity.  Some will out-rightly ignore them because they figure this person has only adopted this look to get attention.  This fashion and body medication choice will put thoughts of drug use and illegal activity in some people’s minds and they will try to move further away from the person.

            My point in all this is that with these people in the room others begin to feel more comfortable because in comparison they look more “normal”, but somewhere in their mind there is distaste for the odd-ball, because they upset the homogenous blend of individuals.  These people can cause the situation to become uncomfortable because now the most insensitive and openly bigoted people now have a target.  The more vocal those people become the more likely it will be someone will have to stand up and confront them, especially if they confront the dissimilar individual.  The bigot feels validated in their behavior, because they know that in the group there has to be others openly or secretly agree and feel the same way.  What stops many people from openly bashing or harassing someone that is different is as times goes by in our human history, tolerance and political correctness has become touted as a sign of sophistication and intellect.  Even more if one is to speak of an individual or group in demeaning or stereotypical ways they have to use certain terms or phrases so it sounds less overtly ignorant and hateful. 

            Watch any new story or political debate when people say things such government assistance, alternative lifestyle, dysfunctional family.  After these words are said note that words like high crime rate, low performing students, and substance abuse follow it.  I’m not saying that there isn’t a correlation with these situations, but that often people skip over how these things came to be tied together and that not only these groups or individuals suffer these problems.  I’ll be frank; I’m an African American and anytime I’m in a group of other African Americans and someone mentions a new story about a mass murdering gun man, a child abuser, or a mother killing her children the first question is what race what the offender.  If the answer is any other any other than African American there is a sigh of relief followed by the “Cause you know we don’t do that” statement, followed by “That’s a shame”.  I’m sure we all know why this is the response.  If you don’t I can tell you, it’s been because throughout American history African Americans have been pegged as uncivilized barbarians that steal, lie, cheat, fight, rape, and won’t do an ounce of work unless beaten.  So whenever some other group can be found guilty of these things it confirms to African Americans that no matter what other groups do we are less likely to perform acts of that level of barbarity.

            I think the worst thing is that people will lie to themselves and others about their need to feel a part of the group; a need to be superior to others; and that illness, disability, and voluntary overt acts of self expression make them uncomfortable.  While they lie they transfer their fears and personal insecurities onto people that are less insecure.

Emotional Triggers

What do you know about PTSD?  Well its more complex than you'd think.  The things that can cause it can be part of a huge spectrum.  How do I know, I've experienced it.  If you'd like to know more about it here's an article http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/post-traumatic-stress-disorder-ptsd/index.shtml .

My PTSD resulted from the high stress of having a sibling that has autism, there was no violence resulting from it but just the level of stress for a very young child.  I'm not a counselor so I'm not giving advice about how to deal with it, but I am relating my own sorry and what the results are in my present life when it goes only partially treated.

One of my serious triggers is people question my acts, thoughts, or beliefs.  Although i can admit to being wrong or not knowing or understanding something; I am a control freak.  I dislike when I am not comfortable admitting to not knowing or not understand or having a fault.  To me admitting a fault to a person gives them power that they do not have a right to in my life unless i allow it.

what do i want

Danny, John, Monty, Brett, Aaron, Antonio, Robert.  Today my friend asked me to name six guys that had rejected me in the past.  These are just the guys i can remember and the ones i liked the most.  I can't on any number of fingers and hands how many guy didn't reject me but i rejected them.  I had no interest at all in a lot of them.  There's a specific kind of guy I really like.  I love nerds, I like the nice guys.  The deal is i'm not a nice girl.  I can be a nice person I'm not so much friendly as I have people skills and i know customer service.  That's not the same as being friendly believe me.  And this may be the reason why I never got some of these nice guys.  I'm bossy, my tongue is sharp, my jokes are dirty, my outfits are provocative at times, my attitude is confrontational, and my nature is interdependent.

When it comes to competing against "average" females i fall totally short.  When it comes to standing out amongst average females I come off as more of a sore thumb than a rose among the brambles.  I'm tall, slim, small chest, narrow hipped, i dont wear my natural hair out, and I still have a gap and overbite.  I dont cook, go to church, let guys hold the door open for me, or allow anyone to stand up for me.  I'm not by a long shot comfortable being female or feminine outside of liking the clothes and shoes.  I hate the words pretty, cute, and sexy.  I see them as insults because to me females that are those things aren't smart.  I'm too smart to be those things and i dont want to be seen as less because of my physical appearance.  It is possible to be sexy and smart, of course; but at the same time people will see and respond to the sexy way before and even instead of the intelligence.  I dont want to make myself available to any guy that isn't the kind of guys i like.  All the rest can go to hell.

The rejection that comes from the guys i like just reaffirms to me that "I'm not good enough".  The things that make me Monica and make me different are the things that make me unappealing.  The things that make the shorter, less intelligent, less independent, cuter, quieter, nicer girls the ones my nice guy nerds want.  How dare the nerds not want me but the losers do.  The losers flock around and sweat me because they dont know me.  Even though I'm not voluptuous they are still interested.  To me its just because they are losers and they will take what they can get.  They aren't  interested because i'm special they are interest because I'm female and I have a vagina, that's all they require.  That's a slap in the face I wont accept.

My friend asked me what I was looking for, what I wanted.  I feel like what I want doesn't exist.  I want a guy I want that wants me back.  He want to know me and understand me, he'll like and appreciate my quirks, he'll appreciate my independence and strength not be offended by it.  He wont mind that i get on my soapbox ranting about injustice and reform.  He'll love the fact that I can quote The Simpsons and Archer.  He'll love my four cats and not mind that they want to sleep on his head at night.  He wont make promises that he can't or wont keep and when he does, he'll apologize and listen and respect my feelings about it.  He'll know i'm bossy but he'll stand his ground when he's right and comprise when i'm right.  He'll be strong, but sensitive and secure enough to be real with his emotions and trust me enough to share them with me.  He'll be laid back and nerdy but freak like he's the Hulk.